A snip of the video shared above.
Beautiful video of a US woman living alone with her 2 dogs in a beautiful & misunderstood part of Mexico:
https://youtu.be/b9hJhw4bgtk
I socialized briefly today (which I rarely do) & something someone said stuck with me, annoyingly. I really dislike imprecision, & especially erroneous confidence. This person said that "the Pacific Ocean is always cold," & I hypothesized that it couldn't be cold everywhere. They insisted that it was. How can someone think that? It's huge! So since I can't fall asleep I just looked up coastal temperatures in Mexico & their Pacific temps are slightly warmer than Caribbean ones, surprisingly. 🌊
Phew! I finally found the right helpful people. I'm feeling lighter as they declutter my home & prepare to sell what they can. Phew!
This is disgusting
I just wasted 40 minutes on a call with att without accomplishing my goal. I need to go outside or something.
+on the street, at least some of them might just be moral people who cannot adjust to living in the cognitive dissonance of US capitalism. I'm fleeing the country because I can't deal with it & I have just enough, just barely enough that I think I'll be ok elsewhere. I can't be sure & I'll still have to find income eventually. I have a sense that I will be able to earn money in a community that's less mercenary. We'll see. If I get healthy I'll create & share more. I'm taking a risk for health.
Some people are coming later today to help me with my move out & liquidation of stuff. They're coming to help because they are financially motivated to sell stuff. But they do seem genuinely nice. I've posted a lot lately about how my anticapitalist & humanist values make it hard for me to navigate this world. I don't want to understand those whose motives are financial; I want to run from them. Yet I gotta function with them. Been a struggle my whole life. I sometimes wonder, of those who live+
2/2 then I can't be hurt! It's complicated bc the fediverse is healthy--but I developed these impenetrable walls as defense against corpo manipulation. It does carry over to working well in the fedi in the sense that I rarely care about reach bc I'm used to feeling alone, even when I share. It's an artist's curse. Phew I'm unloading a lot. But I love my art & pursuing an audience is draining so I don't anymore.
I also disappeared last night bc I was exhausted. (That's when I'm most lonely.)
❤️🩹
Sorry that I didn't stick around for all the beautiful replies—I do appreciate them honestly.
Part of my sanity strategy is to expect nothing from social media. I share a lot & it feels the same to me as my 90s webpages. I do it as expression & don't anticipate responses. I find this attitude helpful in art & video making too, because I think performing for reactions is an unhealthy epidemic. I also must admit tho that my strategy fends off fear of rejection. If I don't check notifications1/2
I felt like doing something creative so I mixed together the odd mashup that's been playing in my head lately (see alt description for sources). Keep in mind that I have no audio skills & that this project is for amusement purposes only. I'm a fan of the Depeche Mode Dallas remix. If I were a musician I'd embed this idea into something longer & more listenable. Free idea for anyone else nutty. I needed a break from my draining move. I have no room to paint! Made with Audacity.
I say I have friends that I'd never ask for help & want to explain because I commonly see platitudes advising others to "ask for help, it's ok!" Honestly it's not. My experience is that most USians are not healthy themselves. Being with someone else in difficulty is beyond the capacity of most people I know. I admit that the problem could be my attitude. But when I say that I wouldn't ask friends for help it's based on knowing that they like 24/7 dissociation. I think that's the American way.
Update about a friend that I have difficulty with. I let her down when I'm feeling bad & she contacts me & I don't reply. Today I dropped a note through her mail slot. It contains a plastic llama that I found while moving out. She's into llamas. I also included a rough draft note I found from when we were new neighbors & I spelled her name wrong!
I feel that I have many friends whom I would never ask for help. & I've been doing so poorly that I'm always in need. So I don't keep in touch.
Hiii I'm here because I'm lonely :/
May as well admit it right? How to have a good relationship with social media & the phone? On here I'm mostly a "broadcaster" mainly sharing my life & not often in active conversations. Are there highly active conversations on fedi? What about the lemmy style threads? Or is there a hashtag? I'm asking bluntly because I'm trying to learn positive habits. When my bf isn't available & I'm lonely what's a good idea?
(This post is annoying sorry!)
Very productive day. Very exhausted now.
Long distance relationship complaint. The time that I most want to be in contact with my boyfriend is when I wake up. I feel awful every morning. I wish I had a lift.
Why I hate texting above all. I'm only ok for small patches each day. If someone happens to call in that period I may pick up and attend to their request. But the texts... they're "stale" by this point. Reading & responding to them when I'm ready is ok, but the person on the other end isn't necessarily in frame of mind to attend to it & may feel aggravated that I didn't reply sooner. Email is functionally far superior yet it's been ceded to corporate use.
Content warning:Past puzzle result
#pastpuzzle en-508
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https://www.pastpuzzle.com
+and attention are kinds of media. Success within a system reinforces the system above all. I think it's always worth considering that the few representatives of varied backgrounds are those that existing structures elevated. Behind them are millions who are powerless & overlooked. It's an oversimplification to dislike everyone who achieves recognition; while praising the prominent promotes willful ignorance. I'm not offering answers nor conspiracies. I choose to sit among the disorder & think.
While I'm feeling it I'll keep rambling (see above). This thread started with a flier from a minority owned business. As a US liberal I enjoy surveying world cultures for variety & fresh perspectives. It has occurred to me that the names that reach my attention have arrived through corrupt filters. A poet from a hemisphere away may be powerfully inspiring while also being the only person of their nation known to me. That's not representative. "The medium is the message" guides my thought. Money+