Starting a new tag for me to drain my brain of random things relating to my move.
My condo is now legally mine, no longer half belonging to my uncle (who has his own place). That was an important first step to selling.
I'm starting to tell others about it. That helps make it real. A friend is on the way over. People are making plans to visit here knowing time is now limited.
I've been loving my Puebla research so much then Guadalajara caught my eye today. Eeee!
vague rant
Fighting change • Relating to people IRL is tough for me. Also not. I'm a good schmoozer, good at playing roles. I'm even good at being myself. The person I am here is the same as me IRL. Boundaries are tough IRL; here I can filter or ignore. As I reveal my big plans to move I'm receiving opinions from those I know. It's almost shocking how cluelessly blunt people can be, broadcasting their opinions about my life choices. I'm "too sensitive" but really the way people talk is careless.
Earlier I talked about how white supremacy erases nonwhite entities from the mental map. I found another wild example while researching my next trip to Mexico.
I'm hoping to visit Puebla to scout it as a potential new home. I keep finding positives I will experience if I move there. For one, the prescription meds I take daily are over the counter there. On the pharmacy website I searched their sunscreens. US style blogs praise superior "European sunscreens" & NEVER MENTION THEY'RE IN MEXICO.
Place is locally themed & make many of their sauces. The woman at the window gave me a variety since it was my first time. The place has cakes & pies but I forgot to order dessert; she gave me a separate dessert menu card "to keep in your car so you'll remember next time." (The chix fingers were filling so it's just as well.) Their napkins & wax paper liner bore other business logos! I hate disposable but I LOVE that they have chosen the cheapest option, reusing overage from elsewhere.
3/3
* I say "I remembered" the restaurants in Black neighborhoods because THESE DO NOT SHOW ON FIRST GOOGLE MAPS SEARCHES. The first places that show up completely leave the impression that the Black neighborhoods are not there or that there's nothing in them. It's only by zooming the map & asking "search this area" that they show up! The disease of white supremacy erases the segregated, which as I say in my city is 30%!
There were many good things about my experience at this drive thru...
2/3
Food achieved. Meds taken. ✅
Now to wait. Rest. Digest. Hope for pain relief to kick in.
For food I did fast, crunchy, greasy. I was thinking Zaxby's (or foosacky's but we don't have those). Then I remembered* that there are options in Black neighborhoods. My city is 30% Black & highly segregated. I found a great Black owned local place as close as Zaxby's in other direction.
I'm still vacation mode, buying take out instead of cooking. Hoping I feel better later to go grocery shopping.
1/2
2 April: What do you want to work on this month?
Life
Try new pain doctor. Prepare to move. Keep in touch with folks. Go see fireflies (45 minutes away & only this month).
Visual art
Continue to inventory paintings & add listings to moving sale page at https://www.Rartsy.com
Words
I'm not sure yet if I'll be able to write this month so I at least plan to stream. I talk about anything & work out ideas when I stream, often related to writing projects.
I treated myself to a new dot com
Good night fedi friends.
Turning in at sunset is a treat. I have been awake since yesterday. Pain & travel knock me off schedule
Now to fall asleep to an audiobook. 📖 💤
How many times have I started something at "step 1" only to realize there was a "step -1" before it?!
I'm moving out of a messy overstuffed apartment so Step 1 I'll go room by room deciding what I want to keep & leave in place what to give/sell/donate. With my chronic pain I'd love to turn that over to friends who enjoy selling vintage stuff. They can have their %. And I plan to send pics to my sis & niblings. Anyway I realized Step -1 is clearing a closet designated for the things I'm keeping.
2/2 I may as well note that I haven't upgraded my iOS in years so my keyboard problem may be fixed by Apple already (I doubt it) & if any alternatives do exist i probably can't load them. See my laptop is old enough that Apple considers it obsolete, it can't be updated & ability to connect phone & laptop is essential.
I'm having good luck lately with tech questions when I #askfedi
So
Do you know any way to change the keyboard on my iPhone? When I search I get all results about Apple's language & layout options but that's not what I want. Apple crams too much important stuff in a small space when I activate multiple languages. I really hate their keyboard & wondered if it was alterable. Long ago I loaded Swiftkey (which they sorta offer now with swipe) but anyway just hoping someone made a better design. 1/2
3/3
The heart of my humanist philosophy is unconditional love.
Judging anyone as less than is a dangerous habit to develop. If I allow myself to rate, rank & label humans, I accept the concept, then my worth is subject to scrutiny, by me & by others. Better to consider the behavior of human ranking entirely off limits.
Loving others as much as I love myself benefits me immensely—because sometimes I've found it easier to show others respect while tearing myself down from the inside.
Love all.
I changed from Catholic to humanist. I grew up obsessed with judgment, sins, confession, pleading prayers & trying to please God & Mom to avoid wrath. Unwinding those attitudes is my life's work. I now understand that judging others is linked to judging myself. Ironically enough that's what Jesus said, yet the Christians I've known are judgmental. Acceptance of all includes me. Condemnation of any includes me. That's why I'm humanist. It seems simple & I don't know why humanism isn't common. 2/3
For my drive I picked out Elliott Page's memoir.
I know a celebrity is not a typical trans experience but the preview pulled me in. I hope it's a good listen.
I probably was influenced by #TransDayOfVisibility
I don't know why conservative minds categorize certain groups as unacceptable. I understand why right wing politicians rely on scapegoats to rile up voters & distract them from economic inequality.
When I lack understanding I crave education to fill the gaps in my experience.
1/3
I'm becoming someone who wants my shows to end quickly. I felt sad when I found out Common Side Effects was renewed. The story just "feels like" it should have an ending soon.
INXS "Kick"
Sometimes you kick, sometimes you get kicked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AEwszNkmJU
P.S. I'm never able to answer under 500 chars & include the question & tag. The Bukowski poem I reference is here: https://voxpopulisphere.com/2023/04/28/charles-bukowski-so-you-want-to-be-a-writer/
It spoke to me strongly once. I felt justified doing art "because I have to" — I still relate, still feel I have no choice. Creating is me. I can only be me. What I seek to outgrow is offering justifications for who I am & what I do. It's a difficult habit to kick.
Apologies to SA Poscat if they don't want to be linked to Bukowski or labeled problematic. /2
1 April: Analyze quote from obscure influencer/author SA Poscat: “If I wanted to do something people liked, I would post videos of someone kicking me in the nethers. Instead, I write.”
Is "obscure influencer" possible? I am a Proud Unfluencer. The quote puts me in mind of Bukowski: "So you want to be a writer? if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it."
Tough guy explanations of art connect with my problematic past that I seek to outgrow. 1/
I just had a realization!
I think it warrants an exclamation. I will use frequency to differentiate my various web offerings.
Explained at:
https://dotart.blog/rmiddleton/frequency-robulation
Short version: I plan to offer Seasonal, Monthly, Weekly, and Firehose options for those who follow me.