Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.Art

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Fellow depressives, late risers, and those who take breaks from phones:

Do you dread looking at your phone after a pause?

I fear feeling irresponsibly inattentive because I missed a dozen important messages while I was sleeping in.

I'm imagining a fantasy phone setting that would hold messages received during down time & slowly release them over the 4 hours after waking! None would be shown right away.

I don't believe in emergencies I guess.

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A friend was telling me that they're worn out tired. They listed their recent activities. Much excitement & very little rest. Whenever something new came up they said yes. That's the reason for their exhaustion. They said Yes but there were so many great opportunities, each one was too hard to say No to.

I do not have such problems because I am gifted with free time & no income. I rarely choose to go because it costs.

I advised them it's sometimes necessary to say No to good things.

Rest.

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A repost about introverts and extroverts — concepts that I don't even agree exist — attracts the most boosts and likes of my 2 years on the fediverse.

When I say I don't agree those concepts exist, I mean that they are over broad & overused, like horoscopes, personality types, and other generalizations. It can still be useful to reference widely understood terms even if they aren't accurate.

How does social media fit on the intro/extro scale? Strangers' replies that sound like shouting?

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Figures that my "biggest hit" would have nothing to do with me. It's a good lesson, maybe. I saw this posted by someone else without alt text. I wanted to boost so I just snagged it and added the description myself.

I believe that a great deal of emotional regulation and decision making happens when quiet. I believe that the lack of quiet is a cause of how bad things are. We are valuing the shallowest thinking only. And it shows.

My slow projects
dotart.blog/rmiddleton/project

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Fedi feature request
I want to be able to block hashtags as easily as follow them. Click a tag. Under follow button is a mute button. Simple.

I don't want to take the time to set a filter for every forking sports hashtag but every time I see one I want to mute it!

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The fedi alternative to Linktree:

linksta.cc/

Pass it on!

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I've just found myself on 2 leftist Linktrees.

PSA: a federated links list option exists!

Check out mine at RMiddleton.art and see if you think it performs acceptably.

As with all things fediverse, under the hood it's a bit janky. But you're here you can figure it out. And as with all things fedi it's non profit, donation supported, doesn't suck up user information, doesn't harass users with endless emails and pop ups. It just works. I get sad that more people here don't use it.

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Saw this & it's so true. I'm reposting with alt text.

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When I wake up I stream. My brain is still fuzzy today. I will put the phone on a tripod & point it at nature. I will slowly wake up, make tea & breakfast. I will sit in the sun. At some point I will speak. This morning I think I will pre rehearse a telehealth appointment I have in 4.5 hours. I speak honestly about whatever crosses my mind. I often read poetry. These videos aren't entertainment, they are visits. Usually I have 1 viewer. The most I've had are 3. I'm modeling a human pace of life.

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I post a lot about how I carefully control my media inputs. Sometimes my posts take the form of me saying that I have zero plans of following what Rump does because I already know it's bad. News, doomscrolling, social media, commercial broadcasts, all advertising — all are examples of material that I severely limit. Yes my mood is good & I am doing beautiful things for myself & I share joy with others. A super exciting extra benefit is how improved my is with less garbage in my mind!

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7/7 I have close friends & family in Maine, Connecticut, Virginia, Mississippi, Florida, & California, where I may be able to stay for weeks at a time. I want to try different styles of rentals in as I hope to make my eventual home there. I want out of this awful country. I want to live where I can walk, buy food that's not in plastic, afford health care & essentials, feel good. The directions Mexico have taken in recent years have been positive as the US has declined. I love it there.

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6/ Deciding to move will upset the expectations of the 2 who fund my ability to live. That thought is burdening me. A week from now I will be hosting a small group of close friends. I believe I will let them know my plans to move. Maybe I'll even ask them to pick out furniture or art they might want. My hope is to be able to be itinerant until I decide on a new home. I do not want it to be here, but there are places here I could probably stay for free. So I could still visit mother & be happier.

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5/7 Once I sell I will have funds to exist, but not a moment before then. So when do I tell my plans to those on whom I depend financially? It's a similar situation with my chronic pain. A wealthy friend treats me to treatments for that ailment. Her gift of health care is the reason I am able to write this now, to sit up, to walk, to get out of bed & do anything. 8 weeks ago I was fully disabled. My friend promised she won't let that happen again; but she gets something out of it, my presence.

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4/ Neither my sister nor I had close relationships as adults with either of our parents. It's a pattern seen in many white American households, where younger generations grow to believe in the values that we were taught only to discover that older generations didn't actually mean "freedom, justice, equality for all" when they said it. They meant it with an invisible asterisk that added: "as long as the established hierarchy remains unquestioned." The personal is political. The US is Trumplandia.

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3/7 My mental health and physical health prevent me from visiting my mother much. She has a cheerful dementia, always happy to see me when I do come. None of the "why don't you come more often?" that was her prior routine. She lives in constant present. Last year she took me for my birthday dinner. When we spoke the next day she said she'd have to take me out for my birthday. The personal is political. My mother opposes my right to exist. I've struggled with this my whole life.

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2/ I've been sharing secrets online since the mid-90s. Few find the information and still I feel relief having shared it. Therapy, basically. (That's what my streams are now. See dotart.blog/humanissome/stream.) My current big secret is that I plan to move within a year. It's a secret from those I know in real life for complicated reasons. My existence as a full-time artist without income is funded by the person who manages my (demented, Trump-voting) mother's finances. Implicit in that is that I visit

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open secrets & shouting into the void | I was never a big Twitter user. It tended to be the last social media site I went to, often when I was feeling at my worst, reluctant to engage via sites where I knew people would respond. Twitter was my void to shout, wail, or whisper into. Sometimes I got replies, usually not and never an overwhelming amount. Fedi is all that and much better. Replies are rare and meaningful. That preamble is building to a secret. I share secrets on the internet! 1/7

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People are doing amazing things. Many of those people are so busy doing amazing things that they are not engaged in democracy. That is a shame because the ability to do anything including merely to exist is under threat. Well, it's beyond under threat. It's basically over. There's very little hope for passing on a comfortable existence to the humans of the future.

Many people are fighting to survive with no ability to effect change in society.

These are unfair advantages for conservatism.

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The rhythm of sleep
Changes
For many reasons
The rigidity of human imposed schedules is what's unnatural

By chance my long distance boyfriend & I both slept early & woke less than 4 hours later. I used to stress a lot when this happened. I now go with my body schedule. I set my own work routine (I'm lucky enough to make $30 a month from patrons!). I do have an 11:30 telehealth appointment. I know I'll make it, whether bright eyed or not. I will stay awake until my body wants sleep again.

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