im currently offering comics and illustration work!!
you can check it out here:
COMMISSION INFO
KO-FI COMMISSION PAGE
PORTFOLIO
hi everyone!! i opened commissions today on Ko-Fi!
im currently offering comics and illustration work!!
you can check it out here:
COMMISSION INFO
KO-FI COMMISSION PAGE
PORTFOLIO comments
so i recently created a bluesky account, and its been fun! it felt good to have a place where i could freely post my ideas and bits about my day once again, outside of blog posts, all in the palm of my hand.
but then in just the last few days my follower count tripled, because i made a couple posts about my computer (see previous posts for pics haha, i drew a face on it and people really liked it!) with one of the posts getting over 3.5k notes and i got rlly freaked out haha.
people followed from those posts specifically, and now im so afraid to post anything else haha
i wish my interests werent so wildly different. however i know what ultimately connects them (suchas spongebob, and retro computing), and it all stems back to happy memories i had as a child, which i cherish above all else. when i post about computers, or spongebob, or games im playing, its like being a little kid again.
i realize a lot of my posts are now visible to many, and its always a struggle for me to realize that, especially in the digital world. this can lead to me being too vulnerable online. and with the influx of people coming from twitter, and knowing that there is no such thing as a utopian social media site, im scared that i will be scrutinized or mocked or met with cynicism for sharing the things i love. much of what i love comes from "childish" places, and ive been laughed at before and its bound to continue happening.
the last social media site i was on shut down, but at least there i was more of an oddball than something to be mocked. i think users on that site were more accepting and/or didnt really find the need to be rude about what i was posting about. but now that im on bluesky, im not sure...
i am an incredibly sensitive person, i'll admit to that fault. i also run and hide frequently, whenever im scared or stressed.
last night i was thinking "maybe i should just stick to posting on my website and through this blog instead, and take a break from bluesky" and i felt so relieved at the prospect of carrying through with that. i dont know why i alway run and hide from everything, call it cowardice or anxiety or whatever, but its always something i do and i really really dont like it
huge follower counts and tons of notes on a post is not what i want at all when posting on social media. frankly it terrified me. i cant even envision what a room full of even 50 people would look like all staring at what i make.
i mostly use social media to post my thoughts, and little things i do, because its an outlet for me. i dont want to be popular or acknowledged by hundreds... i just want a place where i can exist to just express myself and be myself without fear, but its so hard to detach from that fear.
i just hope that this new platform is less cynical and cruel than twitter. its mainly why i left; i was too afraid. again, there is no such thing as a utopian site. i just wish that someday i will be able to find a place again where i can just be me comments
everyone say hi to my computer, hes a little shy
comments
WOW i finally took the time to fully revamp my art page. i personally think it looks way better now!!
CHECK OUT MY NEW GALLERY HERE! comments
its been forever since i made a post here!!! \
long story short, ive been posting on bluesky!
if you have an account, you can follow me there :-)
@softwareangel.bsky.social
you can keep up with lots of little life updates there, but i'll also have summarized big updates here
the other day i went to a risograph show my friend helped organize with their artist collective group, DEDMAL! it was soo cool... heres some pics of the event and their awesome work :-D
i also got two new tapes :-D really cool artists... sadly the air guitar tape got eaten by my boombox :-( i think the tape got jostled or misplaced into the boombox which caused the disaster, but the music is really great
today i gathered with friends to carve pumpkins and celebrate one of my friends birthdays! some folks came in costume, even the sweet buppy <3
here's my pumpkin :-)
and all our pumpkins together <3
comments
once you wrap yourself in burritos blanket
you will be convinced that you are a pizza comments
my mind and body have been very tired even when i feel emotionally stable so a lot of my free time has just been spent sleeping whenever i can as a result from it. ill have to call my dr abt this bcus it could be my blood again. in any case ive thankfully been having a lot of spongebob dreams..
one of my recent ones was how me and spongebob went to go play at an arcade and we spent a majority of our time on the racing games omg...
then after getting sodas and mall food we went home and i just remember how he was tired and it was bed time and he wanted to be tucked into bed, and as i was tucking him in and gave him a lil kissy on the forehead, another little spongebob appeared and he wanted to be tucked in too.... and then another and another... soon the bedroom was full of lots of little sponges all wanting to be tucked in and cozy.... eventually i fell asleep too in the dream with all the spongebobs.... so tired irl that i fell asleep in my dream too lol comments
as of today i am completely caught up with all of spongebob.... now time to start the spinoffs... comments
got a silly kids toy camera today that has a built in thermal printer! no ink, prints just like a cash register receipt printer works using heat :-)
its really cool and i love how fun and easy it is to just take a picture and have it printed :-) reminds me of the game boy camera but oodles more fun.
this camera also has video, an sd card, built in games, medals to earn (the more photos you print the more medals you earn on your camera ahaha) and lots of fun effects and borders and stuff :-)
neatest lil toy ive bought in a long time and it was way cheaper than my instax and stuff and i feel like im going to have way more fun with this just taking silly photos!
the post .. im going to write a post about squidwards moms. all my thoughts. all my ideas and theories about the tentacles family. it wont be in this post. but it will BE in a post. just wait.. it will come.
the post about squidwards moms comments
i just wanna give squidward a big hug yknow..... one must imagine squidward happy and safe and warm comments
mostly really looking forward to squidward centered/focused episodes SPECIFICALLY... these
ok like this? hes going to become The Weenie Man. hes LITERALLY GOING TO BE THE WEENIE MAN!!!!! hot dog....
ANYTHING that gives me more information about squidwards dad and their relationship like PLEAAASE oh pleaaaaase... ALSO HIS DAD IS A CLOOWWWWN this is hands down the #1 episode im most looking forward to this next season. weve waited 25 years... jeffery tentacles its your time to shine...
like, can this one get any more saturated with The Agenda in just the premise alone? this is already going to be great. i feel it. in my radar.
plankton and squidward need more buddy team episodes :-) plus i cant WAIT to see a villainous spongebob heeheehee i love when hes a little twisted.. a little deranged... even in just pretend. or maybe itll just be goofs and gags which is good too but i just love to see squidward and plankton team up :-) comments
ogh yeah... i made a sudomemo account on my 2ds! heres some sillies i doodled
https://www.sudomemo.net/user/594309F035CE4879@DSi
comments
not much to say today other than i made this! enjoy, or not!
comments
in any case
why does squidward continue to have squilliams robe even tho squilliam has been MIA for the last 14 years (in show at least) hmmm theres something going on..
theyre messy its ok comments
i spent the last few days in all honesty sleeping so i could get away from my thoughts, aside from going to work, and i think its helped a bit. slowly my brains getting glued back together lol
i think its just been such a huge buildup of everything lately, things that are laying under me. things i dont rlly want to talk about, health wise, self esteem wise, future and everything wise. if i think about it any more i will spiral again so i just simply wont think about it
sorry if i worry people when i shut down and isolate, i appreciate when people check in but it fills me with guilt like you wont believe. a lot of the time when i get over emotional i cant rlly put it into words or even want to go online so my instinct is to sleep. but thank you if you reached out, its not something thats required or anything anyone should do
im not sure what else to say other than slowly replying to folks messages but im really, really tired of myself and everything regarding myself. ive been using my little distractions again and talking to friends and its helping but im just really, really tired haha comments
it rlly truly does not matter comments
its just fucking miserable to feel this alone in everything i feel like i barely exist in peoples lives. i dont have a place in the world around me. many times i wish i could sleep and never wake up and tonight is no exception comments
theres just like this aching hole in me and no amount of positivity, jokes or distractions can ever fill it. it hides it but it never stops comments
in honesty none of it matters unless im in my own little world bcus i cant stand to be myself in any capacity. comments
my life and health are spiraling down a fucking toilet bowl but yknow something im listening to my squidbob cassette tape and ill soon be in my dreamworld lalala comments
i think the big thing i miss when i was in a specific group a while back was being able to be an adult in an adult space if yknow what i mean... its fine its 2am and im whining over such a non issue but i miss being around other adult fans im 30 or something odd years old and im tired comments
im looking up spongebob forums bcus i dont want to join a discord or social media sites like twitter or bluesky or tumblr or any of that but i still want to share my art and chat with others whyyyy is this so haaard and scaaaary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! comments
OH yeah i picked up my childhood copy of heart gold and i made a new team!
da sponge crew...
spongebob the sunkern... who will soon be a sunflora!!
squidward the tentacool :-)
patrick the slowpoke!!! i wanna make him a slowking!!
thats all... many fun adventures await!! comments
heres some random screencaps i made during my spongebob watch today..
extremely meme-able image
his little face ;__;
ALSO HIS LIL RINGMASTER OUTFIT!!! i love when he dresses up!!!
awesome smooches from these last few episodes
ive already watched the majority of squidwards sick daze and its a really great season 13 episode i adore it lol
spongebob taking care of him in his own little sick twisted way is so funny to me jlfskjdflsjg (in the end he actually makes him feel better so its awesome)
also squidward canonically eats froot loops
ok dats all the screenshots i took today yaay comments